I once bought a toaster from Goodwill. I was informed afterward that it may not have been the wisest decision. Hmm.. It burns everything and anything, no matter the setting, or how much you watch that thing. Horrid.

Anyway, I had eggs and toast for dinner again because I'm too lazy to actually cook a decent meal for just myself.

We seem to have come to a.... calm within the storm. I'm hoping the storm has passed now, and it'll be a little quieter for a while. I think he did realize that his job was driving him nuts, and it's not just me. Although, I know I get pretty needy when he's gone all the time. I just want to spend every single second with him when he's home. I'm crazy about him! I'd go with him if he'd let me. But it's okay, I'm grateful I get the time I do have with him.

Catsbar: Thanks for the support. Gets kind of lonely on this side of the screen sometimes. I hear other women complain about their men coming home after work and sitting in front of the tube the rest of the evening... and all I can think is "I wish my man were home to plop in front of the tube with me.."

Category: General

What a horrible ride the last few weeks have been. We've been fighting like crazy, and I hate this.

His company is pushing him to run way over hours every single day. They don't care about the laws, and most of the other drivers either need their job too badly to say no, or want the money too much. But every weekend he's running all Friday night and long into Saturday, with a load that has to be taken out Sunday evening. He barely got his 34 restart, but only because he forced the issue. And this is from the company that PROMISED "Every weekend off!" Uh, right!

Now they're calling him lazy for wanting his DOT breaks and 34 hour restart. "You're a truck driver. This is a 24/7 operation."

Yeah, but they don't work 24/7. They get every evening off, and all weekend. Plus leave early and come in late, while they drive their brand new mustanges.

And they've cheated him out of pay for the last several weeks. They forget to add loads he's delivered. Say they lost the paper work. Or they'll say he didn't get it in before they did payroll, even though the policy book states he has until a certain day. If they do the payroll the day before, then he gets screwed out of a few hundred that week. His checks aren't all that big to begin with, so I don't know where they get off telling him he's making tons of money even without the loads they lost.

So he's been stressed out. Which means we've been fighting a lot lately. I just can't seem to do anything right, no matter what I do. Sometimes I really think he'd be better off without me, at least less stressed. *Sigh*

I have no idea what to do. He left mad as heck last night at me, and now won't be home until Friday, if he's lucky. Saturday if it's normal. I have drill Saturday bright and early, and won't get home til Sunday evening. And if it goes as usual, he'll have to leave out long before I get home. Which means I probably won't see him til the following weekend.

Why does it always have to be so hard? Other people get in an argument, they go to work for 8 hours come home and work it out. Get into an argument with my man and I now I won't hear from him until he gets home the following weekend, or whenever his next home time is scheduled.

Category: General

I seriously love my trucker, but honestly, this is the millionth time I've heard "I'm quitting, I'm getting a regular job, work 9 to 5 like normal people.."

I wish!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.......... *sigh*

Category: Trucking

Took a Global personality test on the net. Above is the interpretation of the results.

It said I was weird. HA! Guess they got one right.

Too funny! Although.. What are you doing reading my blog??? What do you want??? Wait, don't go... I want to hang out, uh.. but not now. I'll call you.

HA! (Sorry... I haven't slept in a couple days.)

Category: My Life

Have you ever read Stephen King's "The Long Walk? If not, it's a good book, you should read it. But it seems to bear more then a little resemblence to the life of my truck driver. A never ending, beyond enduring, continuation toward some indefinite "finish". The winner only recieving his life as his reward. Or maybe winning your life isn't really a reward, but a punishment.

It just seems never ending... his job that is. There's no consistency. Hell, he worked for ... a large company prior to this one, who refered to him as solely a number, and yet he had more consistency than this. Ridiculous. This smaller, family run and owned company, is treating him like he's some kind of machine that never needs recharging.

I'm just pissed cause they're sending him to Kentucky on a Friday. It means he won't be home until late Saturday night. I'll admit I'm a little selfish and want him here, but I'm more pissed about the fact that he isn't getting enough sleep as is, and working another day isn't going to make it any better.

He's wore out, completely. I don't know what to do to help and I'm worried sick he's going to fall asleep at the wheel or something equally bad. I thought the new company would be better. Their ad promised they were going to get him home 3 to 5 day's a week and every weekend. A month and a half now, and he's worked every Sunday except one, and that was because he refused to go in. He gets home once a week but only gets about 5 hours, then he's got to be back on the road.

He's trying so hard to make me happy, I can see that. Even though he looks as if he's going to pass out he's so tired, he'll still sit and ask me how my day's are and how I'm doing. But he's so pale and so drained. There's got to be a better way then this. I spent the last three day's searching the internet for a local job, or at least a better company. There all the same.

I put in app's for a job. Hopefully I can find one to work around my school schedule and still pay decent. Problem is, I don't think it will help. I've offered to pay half the bills several times, and I had tons (for me tons) of money to be able to do so. He still refused. He's doing this for a different reason then money, but I'm not sure I understand why. He's said it's to allow me to concentrate on school, which that may be part of it, but I think there is something more.... I just don't know what. Ego? Pride? I know he has to be the best at what ever he's doing. Could he be running himself into the ground in order to prove, once again, that he is above and beyond 'ordinary' drivers?

If this is the case, then my getting a job won't help the situation. It might make me feel better, but won't solve anything. Might actually make things worse if he believes his male pride is in jeapordy in any way...

Why are men so complicated? Stop it, will you.

Category: General

I've been struggling with some questions as of late. Most of these are spawned from the classes I'm taking currently. It's ironic how college is supposed to teach so much, and yet leaves so many questions unanswered. I suppose that may be because they go unasked mostly.

Basically, I was wondering how on earth did the trucking industry end up so completely messed up!? Honestly, ask any average citizen to work 14 hours a day with no overtime and they'd be running (Screaming) to the ACLU in a heartbeat. And the hours of service rules are a joke. They got most of their information on how long and what hours a driver can drive by asking the Company's?? JB Hunt stating that drivers never used their 11th hour...

So, how did it get this way, and why is the government supporting this? What happened to the rights of the driver, the employee? Anything over 8 hours should be overtime. Day's off shouldn't be calculated in 10 hour periods. Haven't they ever heard of quality of life?

It's amazing to me how companies can scream that they have a driver shortage, and yet find nothing wrong with listing "one 12 hour period off every 7 day's" as a Driver Benefit. Not to mention some companies are listing a monthly news letter as a driver benefit. Wow.....

Obviously it's all profit driven, but what happened to protecting the driver? The rest of us (civilians) are protected with minimum wages, amount and length of breaks, and how long we can work. Why is it that the truck driver is pushed to the threshold of sanity, only to have the industry whine about driver shortage?

So how do we change this? Simple because a few people are speaking out, and others may be thinking it, won't change anything. There would have to be a unified front. Not a driver stoppage, but more a political action commitee, or group to lobby for the rights of the truck driver. Are there any? And if so, what are they doing?

Category: My Life

Sometimes it seems designed to keep those of us who were born into a lower class, kept in our respective class. It's not a matter of hard work and dedication, it's all a matter of who you know, and how well you can suck up.

One of my business classes, the instructor tells us of one of his "rules of wisdom", which is Suck up Sincerely. And if you can't do it sincerely, fake it.

What happened to honor and dignity? What happened to proving your capabilities through effort and sweat and being recognized for those abilities? What happened to the American Dream? It's turned into a commercialized, techno-color, vision. Buy the house, the plasma TV, the BMW or Lexus. The ideals of honor have been replaced with a drive to fit in, to compare yourself with the purchases of your neighbor. So sad that we have fallen to such a level of complacency. Working hard only to maintain the level of purchasing power needed to keep our level of status in a world that seems controlled by the programs on prime time TV.

Shut your TVs off. Look around and see how detrimental these programs are, how much they steal from you with their filtered numbness over your life. Wake from this sleep, and see your life. The dreams you've lost. The ideals you've set aside, the beliefs you used to hold. It's so much easier to let your mind drift in the sea of the screen, to let go and forget who you are. To forget that you used to dream; when you were free.

Category: My Life

Top quote is from 1995.
Bottom quote from 2002.



Driving a truck fell from number 9 to number 10 in 7 years. Doesn't sound as if things are improving very much.

Found this link too:
Truck Driver Shortage: Analysis and Forecast. March 2005
http://www.truckline.com/NR/rdonlyres/E2E789CF-F308-463F-8831-0F7E283A0218/0/ATADriverShortageStudy05.pdf

Their findings:

Category: Trucking

NOUN: 1. Something hard to bear physically or emotionally.

I've worked for the last 17 years of my life. I'm not complaining. I've enjoyed knowing the money I had, I earned. And out of those 17 years, I've spent about 10 of them supporting other adults. (Not children)

So when my boyfriend of the past two years offered to pay the bills while I went back to school full time, I was... wary. Not that I wasn't ecstatic by his offer, and the chance to actually finish school before I died of old age, but hesitant on how it would affect our relationship. I didn't know if it was something the both of us could be comfortable with.

So after much debate, and discussion, I took him up on the offer. I quit my good, but going nowhere job, and took on the role of "Full-time student".

Yeah... well... it's not going so well. Especially the more hours he works. He's not even getting his 10 hr DOT breaks with this company, let alone the 34 hour restart. And they pay crap! He's fighting like crazy to deliver as many loads as possible, only to what little they pay him all go toward bills. And it's not like we have "luxury" items, like cable or internet service. No car payments or credit card debts... But he made a comment this morning about being a martyr, or along those lines. That he could see the higher goal of taking care of a 5 year old child, but....

I'm feeling like an incredible drain on him financially, physically, and emotionally. Honestly, if I were paying half the bills he wouldn't be stuck at this rat-trap of a company.

But what do I do? He's laid it out that he does not want me paying half the bills while I'm going to school. He believes I won't make it through school if I have to get a job, and he's probably right about that. But obviously it's creating animosity toward me? I just don't know what to do.... I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't work a quarter the hours he does, but even if I got a full time job and went to school full time, I still wouldn't work as many hours as he does.

I don't know... I wanted a law degree. It'd take me another 5 years to get there. I don't want to put him through 5 years of this. I don't want to be a mooch, a burden, a drain on him. But I also don't want to be a minimum wage worker the rest of my life either.

The point was brought home the other night when I was telling him about a conversation I heard outside of the college last week. Three women were talking about their divorces, and since they had never worked while with the man, then they'd been awarded alimony in the divorce. Personally, I think alimony needs to be abolished! There's no reason an able bodied person can't support themselves. None. It might not be as comfortable a living as they once had, but at least there's honor is knowing you worked for what you have. Which led me to the conclusion that I'm no better than those women. I'm still with my man, and I do my utmost to make sure he's happy and has the things he needs, but I'm still living solely off the money that he provides for us.

If I lie and say I changed my mind about school, I'll regret I didn't do it. But then he won't have to go through hell to keep a roof over our heads. I need to just get a damn job.

Category: General

Today's wanderings....

Hit the rack around 5am this morning for some shut eye. I hate when he leaves in the middle of the night. I was too wired to sleep, and then started imagining every creak and thump was someone trying to break into the apartment.

Woke at 9 and cranked up the ol' coffee pot.

Finite Math... What the hell do you use Matrices for?? What are they? Why do I need to know this crap? My major is for Business Admin. I seriously doubt I'm going to be using this rubbish. And now I get to paramtize (???) them. I don't even know what that is.

I never realized how many people felt the need to go shopping at 1:30 in the afternoon on a Friday. Does anyone work around here?

I found out that on the Yahoo maps page, you can send the driving directions to a cell phone. I just thought that was the coolest thing. Click the link above the map, enter the cell number in, and viola... They're sent to your phone. You have to have internet connection on the phone though.

Category: My Life